When our World Ended.
How we coped with no internet
for 3 months. Well, it felt that long.
It was probably just 90 minutes.
This is our story. We lived to tell about it.
The proverbial poo hit the fan. Our internet was down. Seriously. No Netflix, no Facebook, no cable. We don’t really care that the phone went down. We don’t use it, anyway.
So how do you cope with this kind of world ending scenario?
Throw your hands in the air, run in circles, and start screaming like a little girl. That helps.
For a minute.
HOW TO COPE WHEN YOU HAVE NO INTERWEBS
1. Begin trying to hack into everyone else’s internet in the neighborhood. When that doesn’t work, continue on to the next steps.
2. Go to the grocery story and begin looting all of the milk and bread and toilet paper. Don’t worry about going to jail – civilization as we know it has just ended.
3. Pick up a book. You probably have them – look on that shelf thing under all the dust. You might check your Kindle. Hey – while you’re at it, see if it has wi-fi access!
4. Talk to your kid. Look around. They are those small versions of you probably sitting in front of the tv, slack-jawed and panicky. You might have to ask his name again to remind yourself, but they can be pretty fun. Though..he might ask for food. Try to stay clear of that subject.
< Go check the internet. It might have come back up.>
5. Go outside. (that’s not crazy talk, really). It’s that big scary place where there are trees and birds and stuff. And dirt. Don’t forget the dirt. But you might find that your neighbors are out there, too. It’s a good time to get to know them. You might find out they have internet access and you can ask to hack in! Or maybe one of them remembered to keep the internet provider’s phone number handy so that you can call on your cell phone.
6. Remember those little versions of yourself I mentioned? Go make some more. ;)
7. Be positive. You can’t get viruses on your computer. Politicians can’t call. No more Viagra commercials. Thank goodness.
7. Google a new hobby to pick up. oh, wait.
< Go check the internet, again. It might have come back up.>
8. Food. Give up, you’re going to starve. You can’t can’t even order pizza.
9. Finally take down those Christmas decorations that you’ve left up since 2009.
10. When all else fails, just go to McDonalds. They have free wi-fi.
Thank goodness we didn’t have to resort to number ten. <shudder>
Share your thoughts: Obviously this is NOT what you’d do in this situation, but have you thought about what you’ll do if the internet goes down? For example, if like us, your internet, phone and cable service are in a combined package, when one goes down, they all do. Even after a storm or natural/man made disaster, those utilities may not be available for some time. So you have no access to news, weather or information. Do you have a backup like a weather radio? Do you have important documents, contact numbers and information printed out in an emergency binder? Make sure that you’re not so reliant on the online world that you are frozen when it goes down.